My friend Alan, from the band Kick Up The Fire, has written a vitriolic post on the band’s blog based on Lily Allen‘s stand on filesharing.
I think its probably a little harsh and bordering on the overly personal (I actually quite like her personality and some of her tracks). I do, however, agree that of all the artists “daddy’s girl” Lily has little if any credibility when it comes to discussing the plight of the struggling artist. Take it away Alan:
(warning: the language is quite colourful)
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Dear Lily,
Exactly how much are you being paid to go on this sickening crusade against piracy?
Do you really expect me to believe that this is a subject that bothers you so much you feel the need to become some sort of idiotic spokesperson for the ailing music industry megabuckers? Are you upset because when you said “daddy, can I be a pop star” you imagined that the income would be even fucking higher than it already is for you? Should you have asked daddy to make you a glamour model? Or a Bond villain? Or a soap star? (oh, you’re too rough for Hollyoaks, soz.) or any other fucking thing his mates down at the groucho club could have made you?
You don’t give a shit about musicians, they’re just the dudes who stand behind you while you churn out under-average performance after under-average performance. You are not a musician, you have never been in a band, you have never struggled, you have no passion for music, all you wanted was for your dad to make you one of the cool kids. You fucking corporate pig. Good old Dad, getting his mates to spend weeks in the studio writing you a bunch of tunes so you could be famous. You weren’t even there! I know, because I was the fucking runner! Mayfair studios, in Primrose Hill, bringing your dad and Alex James tea and biscuits for a hundred quid a week. Fuuuucking sweet job!
I can see it now, all the grey faced, Eastenders-addled drones, stumbling, slack jawed down to HMV to write that great wrong they have done by downloading music. They saw you in the metro and you really struck a chord with them! Yes, Lily is right, must buy CD’s or the world will collapse!
Yeah fucking right it will, who on earth will pick the bands to force into 360 deals now that all the pretty girls with the well connected fathers aren’t clogging the A&R departments? Who will be left to use their job title to get them into the Kanye after-party so they can maybe get to let him spunk on their face in the bogs? What will the fucking world do?
Nothing, it’ll do nothing you twat. All the fucking proper musicians living on the breadline will just keep doing the same thing, playing the music they want to play and maybe there will be less dickhead popularity whores like yourself flouncing around the stage at Glastonbury next year.
Get out of the papers love, you’re making a dick of yourself, you’re a popstar, thats all, good for nothing but drinking cocktails and wiggling around on Callum Best’s lap in some shit aftershow in the West End until he takes you home, ties you up and fucks you like a pig. You don’t really like it, but it’s Callum Best!!! If you want people to take more notice of you, maybe walk up to Primrose Hill and get your horrible gash out while walking your dog or something? Maybe you’ll get lucky and some paparazzi slug will take a snap that’ll end up in the Daily sport, that’ll shift a few units for you, and that’s what it’s all about eh???
Wanker.
Alan.
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Click here to see the original rant.
Something tells me Alan won’t be making Lily Allen’s Christmas card list this year.
TRACK:
Lily Allen – Naive (The Kooks Cover)
